Not wanting to deal with problem

It’s human nature to not want to deal with problems.

However if you keep using human nature to justify why you don’t seek for help, then over time it gets harder and harder and eventually you’d lose all confidence in your ability to ask for help and change your life.

It doesn’t have be like this. If you are financially challenged and cannot seek professional help now, you don’t want to just do nothing.

Start with your friends. Find someone you feel comfortable talking about sensitive issues with. This will be a good beginning.

The thing about asking for help is you need to practice it until you get comfortable. Getting comfortable asking for help is the key. Most adults go through life “alone”, meaning even if they are married, they really don’t ask their spouse for help at all.

It’s against the American culture to feel weak, appear weak and act weak. So there is definitely a cultural barrier you need to break through in order to have a peace of mind when you ask.

Online Forum Communities Offer Invaluable Help

One way to not shock yourself but still help yourself is simply not to push yourself into a situation where you’ll appear weak in person in front of strangers (including your doc), when you’re still not feeling comfortable.

Online forum community can be a great choice for you if you know where to find a friendly community.

There are many help group online dealing with issues like insomnia, relationships, breakup, and career dilemma. I personally had problem sleeping, so I frequented Insomnialand.com which runs a popular php forum.

And I used to frequent the sober24.com community running an asp.net forum for many years.

Before I had the courage to deal with issues head on, these forum communities are really a god send.

However, remember not to limit yourself to online options only.

Great Self Help Begin at Home

The self-help movements made popular by the famous 12 step program enables many people to get out of old habits and old problems.

Do you realize most of these people who dug themselves out of a rut began at home?

Where else is safer than your own home? You can be sure to make big progress if you stick to your home as the place to begin cultivating self confidence.

Most people don’t realize that sometimes a period of loneliness is a gift in disguise. In solitude, you don’t have to attend to other people’s emotions and thoughts, which are often things you don’t need when you are emotionally or physically weak.

A period of quietness allows you to get in touch with yourself, which is a luxury in our over socialized world. Most people who feel lost are actually lost in relationships, so being with yourself immediately rid yourself of the conditions that cultivated all your problems.

So your own home is actually a good place to start building up your energies and readying yourself for future challenges.

Taking baby steps

Rome wasn’t built in one day. Your problems likely developed over a period of months, if not years. Don’t be hard on yourself and give yourself unrealistic goals to try solving everything at once.

Make a bit of progress and be proud of yourself.

 

We usually don’t have the ability to help ourselves. Not knowing what to do, not being confident enough about our own ability to help ourselves are the main reasons. Unfortunately, with a lack of free time, most people simply don’t bother thinking about things that have bothered us.

Fortunately, you can find a great deal of info and receive help online by joining an online community, like http://apps.komen.org/Forums/, which runs the best asp.net forum software. You can find experts on any issue and on personal development as well. All you have to do is to go online and find a site that runs a good online community software that’s easy to use.

With experts you can reach and ask questions, and peers that suffer the same way you do, you gain more self confidence, not only in your ability to deal with issues but in your personal life too. You can also boost your self esteem by helping others like you in the community, too.

There are many self-help groups online and off. Find one that you have easy access to is a good start, but many led by professional require fees to join. Therefore, finding help by Googling online communities is great for starters.

The danger of not socializing in person

However, depending on websites for help has its own problem too. The face-to-face interaction has its own psychological benefits and often bring out the best of human nature. Simply being listened to in person can make you happier.

About 25% of Americans don’t have even one close friend they can confide in. One of the causes is the heavy use and dependency on Internet. This dependency on the Internet can be an even greater danger to your well-being.

So, if finding someone who can help you in person is difficult, try online communities. However, don’t forget to also look for offline help. Find friends who enjoys spending time with you, and stick to them.

 

Have you ever read the book “The Science of Getting Rich” by Wallace D Wattles?

It was published about 100 years ago and it is still being reprinted today.

It’s not actually referring to hard science you study at college, but a proven step by step mindset / paradigm changes that lead to wealth.

Likewise, there is a Science of Getting Help too.

It is very similar: there is a series of mindset changes that are required to ready YOU to receive help.

It doesn’t matter what type of help you’re looking for. It could be help from a business expert, a psychotherapist, a lawyer, a tutor, etc.

Without you being ready, it doesn’t matter who the help-giver is – nothing is gonna work.

It’s much like a pocket with a hole in it: nothing put in get retained.

Sometimes a gifted helper can trigger readiness in one “session”. I find those who mastered provocative therapy to be particularly helpful.

But it takes years to master the art of delivering such therapy. And those who are equipped with the training often can’t help themselves very well.

After all, it is a therapy designed to help others. To provoke response from others and change mindset.

Therefore, it is important we realize that getting help requires a mind that’s ready to receive help.

So in many cases, you need to help yourself first before people can help you.

The take home message: Recognize the need for self-help before asking for help.